nooooooiiiicceee

I dont get much sleep anymore
Im afraid its really gotten to me..and that im past my threshold for bullshit
My oh my have these past few days been such a rude awakening..

Ive gotten a long few letters.texts.calls...telling me about how im just like every other girl..and i dont see why
Am i not supposed to move on even though she has?

Its so hard to get everything out because theres so much trapped inside of me..that i just wont say to her because i cant...i just cant make someone feel bad.
If people took the time to see me..theyd notice i go out of my way to keep bad feelings inside even though it kills me so ill just write in here..

She has thrown words around back and forth...esp for the last 8 months she couldnt decide what she wanted...
coming from spending one night with someone you love and someone else you love as well. When me and him have been 2 great people that she has toyed around with...As a person i shouldve left. to save another person soul that was about to be ripped apart but so should have he. But we both stood.

Ive been talking to her everyday for a long time..
Shes with him and im just here...trying to move on but its so dam hard
when she calls saying that a big part of her is empty and when she sees me she will be better
but when i leave she wil be miserable..Is that the kind of stuff you say to a person when your inlove with someone else...

im rambeling..about something that shouldnt be important anymore but stupid selfish people anger me..
to put it simple.....its so hypocritical and the last near 1yr of my life has been a eye opener

its not just one person im completely confused about what to do...its 2..
and i just wanna move on from both..and not have these thoughts...it does me no good and i will never get anywhere stuck in the past


till the next time
love -britto-

what used to be 1/2 of something and 1/2 of another
now it is completely one.

I dont know how to deal with this anymore..
i was jerked around for the last 8-12 months of my life.
I dont know why i stuck around...

Now days things are too different.. she cant even handle being around me..
shes so hott and cold..esp now.

Im afraid you will never know what you want.....
because you keep coming back to me..and say things...that you shouldnt since you left me.

i have to move on..its just so hard

Pretty nervous

..I cant describe the thoughts other lame stuff ive had this passed week..i cant wait for it to be over..i just want things to be normal again. Ive said to much and so has " jon doe" somethings make me realize things somethings i dont even hear..it just makes me weird...in this way only i feel kinda worthless..kinda sad..and tired..because my mind is going in every direction like crazy....

so what can i do to get this off my mind???


i wish things were easier....
and that i was better and careless....
this is slowly coming to an end i can tell..not for me but for " jon doe"

oh well..cant win em all...